i do make mistakes, i have regrets, but in the end it's all lessons learned.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
no hard feelings.
I received the devastating email on a Friday morning, almost close to noon. I had my hopes way up there, so the crash and burn wasn’t easy. I didn’t cry at first. I guess I was waiting for the news to sink in, it took a minute or 2 to finally hit me. I think it was when Sherwin had the nerve to say “See! Prayers don’t work!” (I made him take that back BTW!) that’s when I started crying, uncontrollably. just different thoughts ran through my head, I wanted this so bad for Christmas. and all the things I knew landing this job would do, not only for my personal growth, but also for my future and Sherwin. it was heartbreaking. but every human being goes through this right? I cried some more. I broke the news to my parents & friends since they’ve been rooting for me for this job. they knew how much this meant. So I just sent little random text messages, along the lines of, “I got my rejection letter today :(“
that was ‘nuff said I thought. I couldn’t say anything else. and to say more just pains me. and every encouraging text messages just made me cry a little bit more. even as i’m fine now writing this blog.. I feel that I’m getting all choked up.
bottom line was: this wasn’t meant for me. I can either take this and let this make me stronger or let it break me. and of course, I’ll choose the latter. I’m trying to be positive in all of this, but I am only human and I do feel hurt/bitter about it still. but as I took shots last night, specifically picking my San Diego shot glass, I know I have no hard feelings toward my dream city. bigger and better things will come. sometimes, little disappointments are thrown your way for you to appreciate the big picture. I hope when I’m a big bad RN working in a hospital of my dream and read this blog, I hope I will be humbled. I hope I will be reminded of these hard times just so I will appreciate my job so much more. I hope this will remind me how far I’ve gone and how I deserve to enjoy the quirks of being an RN.
till then I just need to keep on keeping on. it will happen.
